Minimalism is something I’ve always chalked up to people that didn’t have any money or were super earthy… Oh, how wrong I was. Let me preface this by telling you a story.
We had a knock out drag out kind of evening a few weeks ago. Im talking screaming mama with a trash bag kind of moment… definitely not a high point for me. I got so upset at the mess my girls had made of their room that after getting angry and making them watch as I threw toys into a trash bag while they screamed, I began sobbing uncontrollably in their floor. They watched in confusion at what I was doing. I stood up, walked into the laundry room and locked the door. I fell to my knees with tears streaming down my face completely defeated. I knew I had messed up AGAIN, I had yelled and got far too angry at my kids who are all under 6. I had said things in the heat of the moment that broke my heart. What a horrible mother I was. As I sat there in the floor I could feel an almost tangible embrace and near audible words. God said to me, ‘YOU are enough. YOU are loved. YOU are my perfect creation. YOU are a loving mother. You are NOT a failure. Seek me and find rest.’ It was in this moment that I began to see what God sees.
I knew I needed to seek forgiveness from my girls, so I went into their room where they were all sitting quietly not knowing what mommy would do next. I sat into the floor and scooped them up into my lap as the tears continued to pour down, and ask them to forgive me for getting to angry. I then asked them to help me pick out the toys they felt they no longer played with and would be willing to give to other kids who didn’t have any. Ya’ll this was such a humbling moment for me. Each girl came back with armfuls of toys they thought they no longer needed. What I should have done, and what I will do the next time is to have them go with me to the donation center to drop off the toys, I feel that this would make it all come full circle for them. After this whole ordeal we made an agreement that with the remaining toys, if they trashed the room again (which we knew they would), they would be locked up in the toy closet in ‘toy jail’. When it finally happened they were all pretty upset. They literally had nothing to play with, but one stuffed animal each and some books. It took a few days, but it was as though they had forgotten they were even there. The fighting, which seemed constant just days before, COMPLETELY stopped. I kid you not… we found them quietly playing in their bunkbed hammocks with their 3 stuffed animals, SHARING and playing. This got me thinking, why did this happed?
I began some research and have begun to discover that the more ‘stuff’ we have, the more clutter we acquire. Especially as women, even if we cant see it the clutter causes stress. I know we all have certain areas of the house that we avoid because they are such a hot mess. For me its our master bedroom closet and under the sink. It is a disaster… I always plan to organize them, but it never fails to go undone. As I sit here I am planning to go through under the sink during nap time… maybe you can keep me accountable! After this AH HA moment, I began systematically going room by room and getting rid of everything I don’t use regularly. The laundry room, kitchen cabinets, the Tupperware drawer 😂, my work desk, and the girls shoes and clothes. Ive still got a lot to get done, but the progress I have made has alleviated more stress than I ever could have imagined. I look forward to learning more and sharing with you each step of the way. By no means have I ‘arrived’ and found perfect harmony. I am still an imperfect hot mess mama here to share my experiences in the hope to help just one person make their life better.
So know that no matter what your house looks like, no matter what you just screamed at your kids because your at your wits end… YOU are enough. YOU are loved. YOU are Gods perfect creation. YOU are a loving mother. You are NOT a failure. Seek God and find rest.